Good Jokes

Good jokes are good because not only it will bring laughter to the people, but it will also not offend other people. Good jokes or commonly called clean jokes are those that don’t contain a foul and green intent. They share humor that can be presented to all kinds of age, whether you are a child who understands the concept of the joke, or an adult. Mark Twain is of those who write good jokes; he is an American author as well as a humorist. An example of his works would be the Adventures of Huckleberry Fin, and the Adventures of Tom Sawyer.




There are many types of jokes that are made, one example is the Question and Answer (Q&A) jokes. These are some examples of Q&A jokes:



Q: “Where do you find a no legged dog?” A:”Right where you left him.”



Q:”What do get from a pampered cow?” A:”Spoiled milk.”



Q:”How do crazy people go through the forest?” A:”They take the psycho path.”



Q:”What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?” A:”Nacho cheese.”



Q:”Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?” A:”Because it scares the dog.”



There are also one-liner jokes that are short but deliver the humor through the straight to the point punch line. Here are some examples for one-liner jokes:



“Boys are like parking spaces, the good ones are take-in!!!”



“The Magician was driving down the road… then he turned into a driveway.”



“To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.”



“I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.”



“No more about Elvis, OK? Thankyouvermuch.”



“I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.”



Meanwhile, there are also Good Jokes that depict a story and at the end of the story is the punch line. They usually portray people with their stupidity and dullness which makes people laugh at the end. Here are some examples of short story jokes:



Windy Tale?



“Three retirees, each with hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other , ‘Windy, isn’t it?’ ‘No,’ the second man replied, ‘it’s Thursday.’ The third man chimed in, ‘So am I. Let’s have a beer.’”



Secret Service?



“A Friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside: The pastor said to him, ‘You need to join the Army of the Lord!’ My friend replied, ‘I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.’ Pastor questioned, ‘How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?’ He whispered back, ‘I’m in the secret service.’”



Shame



“‘You should be ashamed,’ the father told his son, Andy, ‘When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles everyday to get to school.’ ‘Really?’ Andy responded. ‘Well, when he was your age, he was president.’



There are many Good Jokes that are very funny to hear yet is clean and available for all to hear. Your funny experiences in your life can also be made into a joke so that you can make people laugh. Just be happy and make people laugh because as the saying goes by Mark Twain “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”

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Breakfast

The popular breakfast that Bangalore restuarants offer and also prepared in most households are:
Idlis - Steamed Rice cakes
Dosa - Rice Pancake. There are varieties of Dosas like Masala Dosa, Rava Dosa, Plain Dosa, Tomato Dosa.
Chutney - A spicy side dip for Idlis, Dosas and Vadas.
Uddina Vade - spicy and fried in oil (doughnut shaped) made of fermented rice and lentils.
Mosaru Vade - Vada dipped in Curd
Uppittu or Khara Bath
Kesari Bath or Sajjige
Chappathi
Poori
Avalakki Oggarane
Mysore Bonda
Akki Roti
Lunch and Dinner :
Bangalore or Karnataka food is largely non-greasy, roasted and steamed. Rice is the staple diet and forms the basis of every meal. It is usually served with Huli (a thick soup with vegetables)or Sambhar (a thick soup without vegetables), Saaru or Rasam (a thin soup), dry and curried vegetables called Palya and the meal ends with Mosara Anna (a mixture of rice with curds). Coconut is an important ingredient in all Karnataka recepies. Most restuarants offer all the above in a stainless steel plate called "Thali Meals". Sometimes rice is mixed with spicy powders, vegetables which makes eating easier and are called Rice Bath. There are variety or rice baths depending on what it is mixed with.
Huli or Sambhar - Thick Lentil soup with or without vegetables
Saaru or Rasam - Thin Lentil soup (Optional vegetable: Tomato)
Majjige Huli
Palya
Bisi Bele Bath - Rice mixed with Huli (with lot of vegetables)
Vangi Bath - Rice mixed with spicy Eggplant
Puliyogare - Tamarind Rice
Chithranna - Lemon Rice
Mavinakayee Anna - Mango Rice
Kosambari (Salad)
Ragi Mudde (Ragi Balls)- an alternative to Rice.
Afternoon Snacks:
There are varieties of snacks to nib with the afternoon coffee or tea...........or anytime, anywhere and with anything. These snacks go well while watching TV, chatting with friends, card games, board games or with a mug of beer.
Kodubale
Chaklee
Nippattu
Maddur Vade


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What Has The "American Idol" To Do With Healing?

When I was watching the American Idol show on TV a few days ago with all the young and fantastic singers that week after week are dependent on the vote of the American people. One person has to go every week until only one idol left. It is not only the American people judging the artists, also a panel of four hard headed persons are telling them what they liked or disliked with their performance. Although this is a hard school for the young singers, they grow with lightening speed in their confidence week by week. Learning who they are. What a fantastic way of learning who they are and to discover the essential things for true success and well being in life. The judges said things like: * you were not connected to your feelings when you sang the song. * You were in the right place and the song came out in perfect harmony. * You were all over the place and could not get it together. * You were focused and everything just connected. This is the same learning we are facing in real life which will be the reason for having or not having health and prosperity. We need to get it right. What about if we are connecting to what we are doing in life and get into that space where nothing matters anymore. It is only you and nothing can distract you. You are totally focused on what you are doing and what you want. This is how true healing and health is created, by being in the right space and just love what you are doing. You can not be healthy when you are all over the place and focused on nothing with no feelings. At least you will not be very successful. I am not talking about financial success, although it is following the same rules, I am talking about your personal well being which you can only create by being focused on what you want and bring all your feelings into it. You are the idol. Study what the successful people are doing and you will see the same pattern in all of them, they love what they are doing and that is why they are healthy and successful. It is time to really study what you love to do all day long if if no other obligation would stop you? Find this part of yourself and start thinking about sharing it with other people. Watch what is happening, you might be the healthy and happy idol sooner than you think and make a living out of it.

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5 Tips to Investing Successfully in the Stock

Here is a simple 5 Step process to help get you started out on the right track..

1. Finding a stock.

This is the most obvious and most difficult step in stock trading. With well over 10,000 stocks to trade in a good guideline is to consider first in which sector you wish to trade in first.

Of course you would be looking at a sector that is receiving good media coverage and in which the stocks concerned are going in in value.It stands to reason that you would not be looking too hard at a sector that was experiencing a severe downturn.

Once you have decided in which sector you want to invest in, you can then commence to start researching for a stock.

It is always best to have a system of rules already in place that will be used before buy each stock.

2. Fundamental Analysis.

A lot of short term traders might argue with the need to do any Fundamental Analysis at all, however knowing the stocks past history and the latest up to date news regarding the stock can be very crucial.

A good example would be the earnings season. If you are planning on buying a stock that has missed its earnings target the last 3 quarters, I dare say caution might be very wise.

3. Technical Analysis.

This is the part where the indicators play a part. Stochastics, the MACD, volume, moving averages, RSI, CCI, support levels, resistance levels and all the rest. Whichever batch of indicators you choose, whether they are lagging or leading, may entirely hinge on where you get your information from.

Keep it very simple when you first start out, for using too many indicators in the first place is a guarantee to achieve big losses. Get comfortable using one or two indicators first. Learn their intricacies thouroughly, and you'll be on the road to making more profitable trades.

4. Follow your choices.

Once you have committed to a couple of trades you should then start to manage them properly. For instance if the stock is meant to be a short term trade you would then obviously be watching it more closely for your exit signals. If it's a longer term trade you then of course need to set up different time frames such as weekly or monthly checkups on the stock.This effectively frees you up and gives you more time to do other things.

You can use this time wisely for keeping up to date with the news, determining your price targets, set stop losses, and keeping an eye on other stocks that you may want to purchase in the future.

5. Keeping an eye on the bigger picture.

This is best achieved by following the particular sector in which you bought your shares .For instance, if you are expecting a share price to go up on an oil stock you purchased and nearly all of the other stocks in oil sector are also rising, then this is cofirmation that you may have made the right decision.

But of course the reverse holds true as well. If the oil sector is starting to show a decline then it might be a good idea to take your profits and run. By knowing in advance and being aware which sectors are hotting up or cooling off stacks the odds in your favour.

For more information on Researching and other related articles go to our Education Section here at Asxnewbie

You just never know which GEM of information might turn up which could lead you to your next profitable trade.

Suburban Grille – The Easy Way To Add Style To Your Car

Chevrolet Suburban is one of the oldest brands in the U.S.A. Earlier it was manufactured as a truck but later on it became an extra large SUV which was preferred by the families. It offers comfortable sitting for up to nine persons and has a large cargo capacity. It is available in both light and heavy duty versions. For such a big size SUV its acceleration is good. It has a good suspension system. In 1992 the makers of the car made some changes and introduced a sleeker design and better interiors, whereas its earlier generation had a long uninterrupted run from 1973 to 1991. This generation lasted from 1992 to1999 but even during this period some improvements were made from time to time, for example its four-wheel drive was upgraded and a new dashboard was introduced. The next generation was launched in 2000 which lasted till 2006. During this period a four-wheel steering system was introduced and the cabin was improved. The current generation, started in 2007, has a better chassis, provides more comfortable ride, has better handling quality, and an upgraded safety system.


In a large sized SUV its front grille is one of the most visible parts. To improve the looks of car sometimes new grilles are installed. Through these grilles you can give a distinct, customized look to your car. A number of Suburban grille options in various styles are available in the market. These are generally made of aluminum or stainless steel. Aluminum is light and strong, and it lasts long and is resistant to corrosion. As it is malleable it can be easily shaped to any design or style. Stainless steel is very strong, and resists rust. ABS plastic grilles are also in use, which are comparatively cheaper. There are grilles which can be attached on the top of the existing grille. These can be easily installed. There are others which are installed after completely removing the existing grille.


You can have an enjoyable ride in Suburban with your family and friends. A stylish new Suburban grille will provide something for onlookers to look at. You can see the latest Suburban grille at http://www.ilovebodykits.com/.


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